Critic's Review
Hotel restaurants open quietly, particularly when they just do a "remodel". Once you have a license you can just do anything you want with the space, apparently, as we saw with The Boatyard. It seems to me that they'd at least have to re-assess the number of seats. They failed their first inspection, big time, with everything from improper handling of food to employees not washing their hands. After my visit, that doesn't surprise me.
Eating inside a hotel is depressing this time of year, and the only good thing about the Ritz Carlton is the beachfront ambiance. With the temperature at 80 degrees, it's perfect for having lunch outdoors.
There's a ridiculous "hostess stand" inside the front lobby; it's just a short, round table in the middle of the hallway. When you enter the hotel now you're at the entrance of the restaurant. It used to be bright and elegant, and now it looks like a bar in a restaurant.
"Burlock" is apparently come contraption for transporting contraband booze; a word so obscure that it hasn't made it into a single modern dictionary. It makes me think of Burlap, which isn't a very elegant thing. I don't know why anyone would think that naming a restaurant in a Ritz Carlton "Burlock Coast" would be a good idea, particularly when it's being branded by a logo that looks like it was done in Corel Draw in 1994
I think maybe the people who did the Hello Sunny logo might have consulted on this. All this means to me is that they have some really dumb branding people involved, which seems pervasive with Hotels. Imagine what a great experience Hotels might be if they had mildly competent people involved?
I wanted to sit outside on their limestone patio. They've gone to the bare wood look, which must have something to do with Burlock. They could probably get more seats on the patio if they tried. There's only 6 seats at the bar; it's smaller than in their original artists rendition.
The tables are adorned with silverware and napkins left over from the previous froofy restaurant, what turns out to be a useless side plate, and a water glass.
Most of the tables were occupied by people who weren't eating; people talking and drinking water; some hotel guests with laptops using the free lobby wireless.
One thing indisputable is the view. It is quite nice.
A server came over and I ordered iced tea. The menu has a bunch of "of the days"; Oysters, fish. But he had no interest in telling me, so I had to ask before he scampered off. No prices with the descriptions. Worthy of note is that the menu is missing some items on their published menu. Only Fish and Chip, Simply Grilled and the Skirt Steak are on the actual menu.
The teas was delivered without the requested extra lemon. They apparently have to go quite a ways to get stuff like iced tea, because it took a while to get the tea; and than another chunk of time to get the extra lemon.
I ordered the shrimp roll; they claim to be using the edgy gimmick of "locally sourced food", so I figured it was a variation of a lobster roll with shrimp. It comes with fries and they didn't have a worthy sub, so I just took it as is.
There's no bread service anymore; at Via Luna you got bread with your $15 sandwich. But this is a new idea.
Waiting and waiting. It's a real premium experience to sit waiting at an empty table with no bread or music. I had time to think about the furniture. This stuff looks pretty nice now, but I wonder what it's going to look like in 6 months. Bare wood outside isn't a good idea. I can't imagine the staff here spending a lot of time oiling up the furniture.
The staff at these hotels is very low end; there are no professional servers here.
Waiting and waiting. 30 minutes elapsed. Unbelievable. I see my server pop out, with no food. I look at him; "I'll check on your food". Great idea. My parking is almost up. Another 5 minutes and it comes out.
I look at the food in disbelief. A shrimp roll at a fancy hotel is really shrimp salad on a hamburger bun? A bunch of fries on a flat piece of wood? These serving gimmicks are really stupid. Plates have ridges so that things don't slide off onto the table.
Not what I expected at all. With a chunk of lettuce on top, what's the point of using "local shrimp" if you're going to chop it up and make a salad out of it?
I tasted a bit of it and it wasn't bad, although I didn't taste any lemon or dill. It comes with an individual ketchup, which seems like a waste of money since no ketchup is better than Heinz.
I tried to take a bite out of the sandwich, but the roll was dense and not fun to chew. What a disaster. I'm hoping for some nice U15 shrimp on a soft, buttered roll and I get this. "Brioche" rolls are supposed to be soft. This was like a hamburger bun that your mom picked up at the day-old bread store. They did grill it, but it didn't soften it up any.
I ended up eating some of the fries and the salad; a hearty meal for $19.
By now I'd been here over an hour and I had like 5 minutes left on my parking, so I had to run. Nothing like being rushed after waiting 40 minutes for a pre-made salad on a hamburger bun.
$4 for the iced tea, to add a cherry on top.
Conclusion
It's amazing that people continue to tolerate these hotels that offer great locations and luxurious rooms but staff them with the cheapest labor available, and offer restaurants that serve utter garbage at outrageous prices. They spend a million dollars remodeling, and then they nickel and dime you by eliminating bread service and serving $7 shrimp salad sandwiches for $15? It's so counterintuitive. Penny wise and pound foolish. Empty tables don't generate revenue. And they're going to have a lot of empty tables here.
Another unbelievably bad, overpriced restaurant opens in Fort Lauderdale. You heard it here first.
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New restaurant at the Ritz Carlton replacing Via Luna. Way overpriced, as expected, but they have more choices than before.
Some of the recipes sound downright foolish. Grouper on Raisin Brioche? Lemon Dill and Old Bay on a Shrimp roll? how about Mayo and Butter? A $16 veggie sandwich?
Their "chef" is fresh out of the Cordon Bleu Culinary school and they have a picture of the head bartender on their web site. There's also no such thing as a Burlock, so I'm not sure what the name is all about. Funny Stuff.
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