Critic's Review
I heard a rumor that they have food at this place, and I was curious to try it. This little alcove in Oakland Park has been a huge failure; there's virtually no foot traffic and the only restaurant to try to open failed in a few months. This place is a huge "anchor", but it's way on the North end and there's really nothing else nearby.
One good thing is free parking. Not too many people here on a Tuesday afternoon.
You walk in to a big room; there are a bunch of employees gathered who all gravitate to a purple haired women who walked in just behind me. I read on their website that the food was "behind the bar", but I don't see a way behind the bar.
In the back there's a sign "Yummy Grub", which is the first sign to me that this place wasn't designed for Adults. Without a word from any employee, I head to the rear.
Though the looking glass and into the back room, which reminded me of a bad college bar.
You go to the window and order something; I asked the pierced girl if the Beer Cheese is a soup, since it doesn't say that explicitly on the menu. "It comes in a bread bowl". I know that, I told her, but it's a soup, right?. "It comes in a bread bowl". Ok, I'll take that. They have no real selection of soft drinks; Im not drinking beer so I get a water. They five you a beeper for when your food is ready.
I'm looking around and none of the table even have chairs in this room. There's a room in the back that doesn't look like it's open. There's a pallet of stuff by the doorway. I wasn't sure if I could sit back there or not.
As I'm waiting I realize that they have a pickup window in the hallway; no-one pointed that out to me. Another guy tried to pick up at the order window and they sent him away.
As I'm checking out the window a kitchen guy asks if I ordered the bread bowl. My beeper never went off, but it's waiting for me. I take it out into the main room and get a seat with a good view of the room. The chairs are uncomfortable. They have some nice seating but the tables are like cafeteria chairs.
Looking at the soup, I see why the girl was unwilling to commit to calling this a soup. It's way too thick for a soup; it's a cheese dip; a fondue, a soup? I don't know what it is.
The bad part was that it didn't taste good; how can beer and cheese taste bad? It has crunchy stuff in it like celery and carrots; I don't want carrots in my beer cheese soup. This is the fake chef version; You use carrots, celery and onions to flavor broth in a soup; Beer Cheese soup doesn't need them. The original Beer Cheese soups may have some bacon and onions, but they're strained before serving. They can't strain this because it's too thick.
Music also failed to impress, Blackalicious, The Heavy Pets. Ick. They have a pretty cool mural on the wall; it's interesting content, but it looks like it's geared towards children, which seems wrong in a beer bar.
Is Pac-Man still a thing? I'm not sure why I ate this, but I did. The bread wasn't good either, some kind of whole grain. They missed the entire point of beer cheese soup.
There's a server running around; you can sit down and order food as well. The web site seems to imply that you need to go into the back area to get food, but it's not the case.
Conclusion
Funky Buddha Brewery is a very big space reminiscent of the Micro Brewery food joints that sprung up for short period in the 90s. Think John Harvard's by Smithhaven mall on Long Island. I never liked the places, but the concept has changed greatly. Back in those days, when your beer choices were limited, the beer produced by the breweries was "something different". With the craft beer craze, you can find something you recognize here. The problem is, you can also find more beers than you can try at most bars and restaurants in town. So why come here? The reasons are likely personal, but it's not for the food. A menu that if weird and forced, they're trying too hard to be edgy; edgy ideas without culinary skill.
My biggest problem with the place is the juvenile tilt that makes the place feel more like a college hangout than a place for adults. The "Yummy Grub" sign, the Pac-Man mural, the cornhole game room. Burgers and bad fancy food. It's a playground for Millenials.
If you're under 35 and stick to the burgers, you probably can't go wrong. A big space, free parking and wifi, and beer.
