Critic's Review
Ker's breastaurant quietly opened last week; so quietly that after a year and a half they didn't even bother to mention it on their main Facebook page. I first thought I'd come on Sunday since the Giants play on Thursday this week; but I decided it might be too crowded so I went for lunch. This place has been getting hammered with bad reviews online, so my expectations going in were low.
The parking lot in this center is a total disaster; aside from the construction, it was laid out by a dyslectic sadist. It meanders in odd directions and you're lucky if you don't have an accident during your stay here.
Inside, they opened up the space and now have a central bar; the old Hoops layout was horrible with walls and oddly placed TVs.
There's also an outside space; on a really nice 79 degree day it might have been an option, but the place was actually fairly crowded and I didn't want to deal with smoke.
I took a seat at the bar. Nothing on TV, but they have a lot of them, as well as some on the wall.
The tables here aren't too interesting. The decor is odd with distressed wood and plasticky fake marble counters; they didn't use Karen Hanlon for the design here.
I ordered an iced tea and it came out right away. It was about now I noticed the contrast between the hot babes on the menu and the girls who actually work in this restaurant.
Music here is good but it's hard to hear in the VERY loud room. I Ran (flock of seagulls) and U2's Desire was recognized through the noise. This place must be really loud when it's packed on Sundays.
2 girls in football outfits brought out my food in just 5 minutes.
Not exactly high end dining. $7.95 for 5 wings; what a bargain. A cup of chili is $3.99 and they sure don't cheat you on the red onions.
The chili was actually quite good; not spicy at all but a good load of kidney beans and ground beef. Better than the junk at Hooters or Twin Peaks.
The wings, on the other hand, were garbage. Just fried wings with hot sauce.
My server, who didn't say a word to me after taking my order, only gave me 1 napkin, which didn't seem like enough with wings. I didn't initially see the paper towels; this place is a clear Hooter's ripoff. The stands they use are no good; they slide so you can't rip the towel without having to hold the top. You'd think with so many restaurants they could find something better than this.
They don't cut the ends off of the wings; they call them "flappers". It's just an annoyance as there's zero meat on the tip and they're not edible.
I couldn't get any of the 2 server's attention when I was ready to go; finally I got her attention. $3 for an iced tea; over $15 for this seems a bit high.
Conclusion
Ker's is a clear Hooter's copycat, with fewer 'improvements" that other breastaurants try to make, such as Tilted Kilt and Twin Peaks. Unlike Twin Peaks down the road, the girls here aren't really worth oogling. There wasn't one in the entire place that I would come back to see, or even call if she slipped me her number.
The TVs are good quality, but there's nothing particularly great or comfortable about the restaurant. The food is expensive and the wings are totally pedestrian. A "Winghouse" with bad wings has a problem; a breastaurant with chunky, mediocre looking chicks has a really big problem.
The bottom line is that this place can't compete with Twin Peaks at any level; Twin Peaks is a nicer restaurant with more interesting decor and MUCH better looking girls. The only advantage here is larger, more traditional menu.
Pre-Opening Musings
I was up in Davie and wanted to check out the state of Ker's Winghouse, which will be replacing the short-lived Hoops. I was surprised to see the state of the place. Given the Football season is the entirety of purpose for a Sports Bar in South Florida, I thought they would rush to open. But they're ripping the interior; not surprising since the interior was terrible, but surprising because now they're going to miss the entire season.
The big pull of buying this place was that it was a functioning restaurant that could just be re-opened; If I were them I would have opened for football season, and then shut down 1/2 the place at a time for remodeling in the Summer since they'll be empty during baseball season.
Meanwhile they've had their build-out permits rejected continuously from August Through Nov 9. So this place won't be opening anytime soon.
THIS is what happens when you use a construction company from Tampa instead of someone familiar with local codes. It's probably also a good reason that there aren't many good, innovative restaurants in Davie.
And maybe it explains why Brooklyn Boys down the road decided to open without even bothering to get a license. Way too much trouble.
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Hoops will be re-opening under new ownership as Kers Winghouse. Kers is a chain restaurant modeled after Hooters. Girls in skimpy outfits. You know the drill.
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