Critic's Review
I've run out of diners, and the local ones are so dull I can't be going to back to them again. #NeverLesters. Not for actual food. Maybe eggs and coffee. So I headed out to Weston to check out Lucille's.
I was very skeptical of Lucilles. A 50's style diner that doesn't serve breakfast or have girls on roller skates. You think of rich white people when you think of Weston, but it's not like that at all. This shopping center is dreary. And the roads are a disaster. No U turns; miss your turn and you'll find yourself going the wrong way on 75 with no way off for 2 miles. There's no reason for it; there isn't that much traffic. It's just a bunch of government workers who don't want you driving cars or something.
Parking right out front at 2:30pm. They have a very unattractive white board strapped to the building by the front door. It's so ugly that I'm surprised that the town allows it. $12.99 for a blackened chicken kale caesar salad. Good Grief. What was I doing here?
Inside you encounter Christmas decorations, and it's a good thing. The decaying decor underneath the festive baubles seemed like it would be unbearable.
Nobody in the place, and it was a good thing. The tables and chairs didn't exactly exude comfort.
A booth in a diner is must.
It's important to note that Lucille's doesn't call themselves a diner; they don't serve breakfast and never have (only Sunday Brunch). They serve diner-type food in a diner-type atmosphere. But I'm still calling it a diner.
One thing keeping me from the place is the menu; it stinks. Overly ambitious stuff for the short order cooks to make; only 1 "blue plate special" per day and they all suck. Highish prices for what it is.
A server came over right away and took my beverage order. Compliance with my extra lemon requirement was cheerfully fulfilled.
She rattled off the specials (without prices) so she seemed at least partially trained. I ordered a patty melt; something that isn't too difficult to make that's very diner-y.
Music was 70s Christmas music, with the Beach Boys' "Little Saint Nick', Madonna's "Santa Baby" and Little Drummer Boy mixed in with a more modern Micheal Buble rendition of Holly Jolly Christmas.
10 minutes later, the food was delivered.
My first impression was that the plate seemed a bit too small. It's nice to be able to eat lunch without half of it spilling onto the table.
Opening the sandwich opened the offering to multiple criticisms.
Clearly I'd prefer one nice burger patty rather than 2 McDonald's type (obviously frozen) patties. Not enough onions, hardly any cheese. Good rye bread and it tasted like a diner cheeseburger, but this is clearly a weak effort. Aside from having the right ingredients generally this sandwich was a big disappointment.
My server was very sweet but far from a professional diner slogger. She bothered me way too often, without ever clearing any of the multitude of dirty napkins generated by eating a greasy sandwich on a too-small plate. By the time I was done the table was littered with dirty napkins.
By the time I was done I was sick of the oldies Christmas tunes. Nobody new came into the place in the 40 minutes I was here.
You pay the server even though they have a register at the entrance. $15.35 before tip is way too much for what I got in this dreary place.
Conclusion
Lucille's calls itself a "cafe", but it's really a diner without the things that make a diner interesting. No Breakfast all day or skilled servers flying around, and worst of all, no bare bones prices. And if you can't make a decent burger, what chance does a place like this have? In 2001 this place might have been a reasonable alternative to taking the trek to Lesters, but in 2016 it's just a poorly implemented and outdated idea that doesn't compete with the other choices.