Critic's Review
Ralph Pagano was severely injured in a kitchen accident while opening a restaurant in Bimini and likely won't be able to oversee this restaurant for the foreseeable future.
Review 3/2/17
I had to go to Total Wine so I thought I'd swing by and grab a $20 lunch at the new Naked Crab. They don't validate parking (or so I've heard), so I parked in the ridiculous beach lot next door. I say ridiculous because the entrance is over by where Oasis used to be, and you have to drive about 1/2 mile to get to the hotel. The good news is that on a cloudy day there were no cars, which is unusual for March, and I parked right near the hotel.
The Naked Crab is located in the new B Ocean, not to be confused with the old B Ocean, which is now the Sonesta. This used to be the Sheridan. Getting any of this?
Nobody sitting outside, with a sign that said to see the hostess inside.
The great thing about this hotel is that the dumpster is right in between the restaurant and the main entrance.
I haven't been in here since the B Ocean took the place over. They've totally redone the lobby in marble. It's completely different than the creepy old place this used to be. In the distance you can see the Naked Crab bar, which is sort of in the lobby.
Love the lime green seating. It's sort of creepy elegant. Seems more like a diner counter than a bar though.
At this point I see that the dining room is closed. They're not seating anyone past the sliding double doors.
Ok, so I'm supposed to eat a $79 porterhouse or a seafood combo at a high top in the alcove or at the bar? No thanks.
I stayed at this hotel for a day (due to being tricked by a travel agent back before there was an internet), and they had a bar on the beach, I seemed to remember. Maybe I could grab a burger there.
It's quite a trip to the beach. You have to exit the building, cross a road and go into another building to get to the pool.
And the pool bar isn't all that interesting. A snack bar really.
So that was that. I won't be dining at the Naked Crab. They don't seem to take lunch seriously and the chances of my coming down here for dinner for this ridiculous menu is virtually Zero.
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Another place to get a $15 burger opens in Fort Lauderdale.
There's a "review" that claims they serve snow crab claws uncracked with honey mustard. The Sriacha Aioli (with Sriracha spelled wrong) tells me that Pagano is about as competent as the guy at Wild Sea in the Riverside.
$79 for a porterhouse; no mention that it's any better than what you get for $11 at Winn-Dixie. A choice porterhouse is $79 now? $8 for cole slaw. Do I get a whole gallon jug?
This menu is a mish-mosh of cuisines (Italian, North African, Peruvian, Thai, New England) with crab clusters thrown in to try to bring it together.
No mention of mallets or bibs for crab smashing.
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Celebrity Chef Ralph Pagano brings his act to Fort Lauderdale, trying to break the string of such legends who have failed here in Taco Town. Dos Camino's celebrity chef Ivy Stark never drew any interest, and in B Ocean's old location they tried to lure people into B'stro with Holli Ugalde. It seems a bit DELUSIONAL that the same ownership would bring in another Hell's Kitchen celebrity for another try.
This is the 3rd restaurant in Pagano's "Naked" brand; Miami restaurants Naked Taco and Naked Lunch are currently open in Miami. But Tacos and Diners aren't real restaurants, Pagano gained local notoriety when he took over the operations at Gulfstream Park, only to leave in less than a year to open Alba Seaside in Sunny Isles, which lasted a bit over a year with more 1 star reviews than you can count on 2 hands.
Chef's that only open restaurants in hotels and facilities trying to get attention usually are more about glitz than quality food. It can't be worse than Dos Caminos.
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