Updated
Sep 11th, 2018
First Posted
Feb 19th, 2018

Bowlicious

1823 E Commercial Blvd
Ft Lauderdale FL, 33308
(559) 297-0013
Overall Rating
1.9
Food
Service
Ambiance
Value
Last Review
09/10/2018

Details

Hours: M-Sat 11a-9p, Sun 12p-8p
Parking: Private Lot
CC: Yes
Alcohol: No
HasWifi: In Theory
Wifi password: Unknown
Outdoor: No

Pros

None

Cons

Contrived recipes
Poorly executed Food
Uncomfortable seating

Critic's Review

Yet-Another bowl restaurant is now open in Fort Lauderdale. A fairly obvious Beehive clone; I wonder why someone would copy such a bad idea. I get the fast food pizza. But bowls of bad stuff? Seems misguided to me.

I arrived at precisely 2pm to a sparsely attended restaurant; the patronage here is largely female, because women are inexplicably obsessed with claiming that they "eat healthy".

They have menus at the door; there are 4 pre-configured bowls, or you can make your own. None of the pre-configured choices seem edible to me. Just too many non-complimentary items in a bowl. There was 1 indecisive girl in front of me, so I figured I'd pre-scope the food; to see what looked edible and what didn't. Unfortunately, the hot items were all covered.

The bases looked pretty lame; weeds or rice; I certainly wasn't getting the strawberry kale. Good grief. I opt'd for weeds and "Spanish" rice, which is really hispanic rice as it's certainly nothing you'd find in Spain. Your basic cilantro rice.

They wear gloves here to spoon the food into your bowl. Better safe than sorry.

Vegetables are a bunch of poorly contrived recipes; no normal food here. "Healthy" vegetables are simply steamed; this stuff is all "glazed" or dusted with some unwanted spice. I went with the roasted garlic rosemary broccoli; I would never put rosemary on broccoli but the other choices were worse.

They're using the Dan Quayle spelling for Potato.

For the protein I went with the "BBQ Pork", which was actually pulled pork. I thought about the "steak", but without knowing what kind of meat it was I passed on the upcharge item.

I asked for it in a takeout bowl as I wasn't going to eat the whole thing; but also asked for a tray. I wanted to sit in the corner but there was a laptop there; It's great when a manager takes one of the few good seats in the place. They have the same uncomfortable seating leftover from Pieology; when you buy a restaurant you have to get rid of the stuff that's wrong with it. I didn't want to sit at a low table so I sat at the community table. Luckily there were few customers.

My bowl was uninspiring. It was certainly a good portion of stuff for $7.99.

I looked at the bowl and wondered how I was going to eat this. Dry lettuce; their sauces here suck rocks; the "basil spinach pesto" I chose was junk; it didn't taste like pesto; it was more like a basil paste. Didn't go with anything in the dish.

I tasted a piece of broccoli; basically burned/raw. Clearly whoever made this 1) has no idea how to cook and 2) doesn't have the ability to realize that the finished product is inedible. If you can't pierce it with a plastic fork, it's not cooked.

I tasted the pork and it was dry and slightly sweet; I didn't really care for it.

I wasn't going to be able to eat this here. I'd have to do something with this pork to be able to eat it. And I can't eat dry lettuce, even with basil spinach paste. I went to the register, asked for a bag and packed up the bowl.

When I got home I deconstructed the bowl and determined that the broccoli couldn't be salvaged. Steaming burned broccoli won't make it edible.

The pile of rice underneath the stuff was underdone; not enough water in the pot when they made it. I don't like hard rice.

Rice is cheap so no need to re-purpose this. Right into the garbage can.

I braised the pork in some chicken broth to make it edible, but overall this bowl was a total loser.

Conclusion

I wasn't going to try this place, but there's a shortage of places to try. When you can't find one thing on the menu you want to order, you have a problem. And I don't want to have to choose stuff that I don't want just because the contrived recipes fit together. I don't want BBQ pork with citrus quinoa, for example, or sweet potato noodles with tuna.

While I also despise Beehive, at least the bad recipes were properly prepared. Here, everything was poorly made and virtually inedible.

These bowl restaurants are designed to be run by minimum wage workers, but in order to pull that off you have to have bulletproof procedures for cooking the food. The "cooks" here ruined the food; and aren't even food-savy enough to know that what they're producing is trash.

Bad location, bad parking lot, bad food, bad idea.

Comment Policy Add Comment
Alison
Reply
I've been here a few times and was happy until I realized that food portions got smaller and the fresh juice is like $8. They must be struggling like the previous tenants, Pieology.
Sam
Reply
How can you write a review about this location in February and they didn't open till July. One you have no clue as to what you are talking about and writing FAKE REVIEWS.
Administrator
Reply
The review date is 9/18 for the mentally impaired. The listing went up in February when we found out about the place.

How can you explain this person? The review has pictures of the entire experience; you can see the food and the restaurant. So how could any brain, no matter how undeveloped, think this was a fake review written before the restaurant opened?

I promise you the place sucks. If you like it then perhaps your pop tart lifestyle is the reason?
Kendra
Reply
I had to look up Dan Quayle! Funny!
Laura
Reply
Both Bowlicious and Beehive over-season their dishes. I am one of those females who is "obsessed" with eating healthy, so I would love to be able to get a nice choice of vegetables or quinoa or sweet potatoes with chicken. But, like you said, they are all glazed or seasoned or dusted with who-knows-what. Many weird seasonings on what could be nice food items, if cooked properly. The chicken I ate was dry and hard and over-cooked little pieces - inedible.
Ray
Reply
So you didn't like the place? Just checking :)
remont m
Reply
I said the same thing.I worked at beehive. they have some of the same items.but the manager firmly said the have a chef who created these recipes. beehive should sue.
Administrator
Reply
I doubt that a bowl of stuff is something you can claim as your own. When you have a good idea; someone will steal it. The difference here is that this isn't a good idea.
Sheila
Reply
You nailed it. If there was a Beehive sign on it you'd never question it.
the gourmet gardener
Reply
interesting how life we lead as millennia's without a clue spending daddy's money on dead restaurants I see a trend here the biz aint easy get a clue
Administrator
Reply
I've decided that this venue isn't review-worthy.
Amy
Reply
Some pretty scary looking stuff in the early reviews 😬
Administrator
Reply
Opening July 17. Better get on line today.

Next: Schooner or Later Bar & Grill